The Better Half

by I Kill Cameron

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credits

released February 4, 2014

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: An Introductory Swan Song
An Introductory Swan Song:
I've become acquainted with the maggots in the city
We've got a lot in common and they love my open wounds
I'm at heaven's gate feeling lust and deep self-pity
I promised you I'd wait, but I had to get out soon
Please swear that you won't follow me cause third time's the charm
No romantics have no place in the world of self-harm
That's why I feel outta place between my own sheets
Dear God in heaven, you win, accept this defeat

I'm crying on the floor asking "Where's dad?"
I'm crying on the floor asking for a cigarette
"Did you take your meds?" "Baby don't fret!"
Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?"
Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?"
Covered in my blood, asking for a cigarette

It's a landmark day cause you finally spoke out loud
You didn't breathe a word, you just held me close to you
Like death does: so subtlety, so charming and not-proud
Knowing that I'll hurt my loved ones if I go with you
Between Anarchists, Misogynists, do I care either way?
I know I love your whiskey bottles littering my space
Oh, this tug-of-war between your love and my bleeding skin
Let's pull harder darling, I think we can win.

I'm crying on the floor asking "Where's dad?"
I'm crying on the floor asking for a cigarette
"Did you take your meds?" "Baby don't fret!"
Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?"
Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?"
Covered in my blood, asking for a cigarette
Covered in my blood, asking you to please forget.
Track Name: Statutory Cuddles
Statutory Cuddles:
It's time for bed love
I've always loved
the longing in your voice when you don't know what to do with me
Happy and smitten
No just baby sittin'
Hold her til she falls asleep
She'll fuck your heart, still losing teeth
Pitter, patter, little feet
Leaving your heart in agony
Wake her and she'll start to scream
Let's NEVER breed

Baby won't you quit your cryin'
Shake me til I'm dead
Baby won't you quit your cryin'
Shake me til I'm dead
I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead
I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead

Phone vibration
Masturbation
give me reason to smile
Thanks a million
For the unplanned children
Now they're jumping off bridges I wish I'd thought to burn
I'm too short to reach the stove
In ignorance away I go
I'll never learn the pains of life
Until I grow until I grow
Stab wounds in the mattress pad
A broken mirror
A lover that decorates the walls of his heart so beautifully
Fuck interior design
Your cosmic gaze is meeting mine
My heart beats like a wrecking ball
That's pushing bricks out of the wall
I'm pushing bricks out of the wall
I'm pushing bricks I'm pushing bricks

Baby won't you quit your cryin'
Shake me til I'm dead
Baby won't you quit your cryin'
Shake me til I'm dead
I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead
I'm dead I'm dead (let's never breed)
I'm dead I'm dead (let's never breed)
(Baby, won't you quit your cryin'?)
Track Name: Lokeigh's Song
Lokeigh's Song
Abandon ship
I wonder why we're sinking
Car's been hit
The stereo's been drinking
And all these people
Almost evil

Infinity, DMT,
and I think that I need to sleep
I'm a ghost staring back at my filth and bones
Wanna make something beautiful
Wanna make something like
The tower of Babel or a crowded jail

You struck my mind
Like shrapnel strikes the body
And when I die
I hope that you can still see me
Saying nothing
never touching

I'll float through the walls
and posses all your pets and dolls
Haunt the grounds
So you know that I'm still around
Wanna make something beautiful
Wanna make something like
Phony religions or better decisions

Don't be scared
It's a friendly ghost
Don't be scared
It's probably just a hoax
Track Name: Bring Forth The Wild Birds
Bring Forth The Wild Birds
You mean the world to me
Bi-polar with a billion cells
Functioning, too scared to live
I need to get off this planet
I need to get off this planet

When Sunday morning comes
I'll leave you for my holy place
Give love to a hot-and-bothered God
Find peace in an anxious sermon

You mean the world to me
Corrupt you in my ignorance
Pollute your air, then call you my home
I need to get off this planet
I need to get off this planet

And on the 7th day
He laid in bed, half satisfied
He said "let there be light!"
and this burning question charred his mind:
"Is this love or sick dependence?"
"is this love or narcissism?"
"Is this love? Is this love?"
"I need to get off this planet..."
Track Name: SuperMassiveBlackHole Part II
SuperMassiveBlackHole (Part II)
I can't survive the darkest depths of my mind
I can't survive the darkest depths of reality
I can't handle the night outside of my window
But you have shown me the darkest depths of the universe
It's beautiful here

I'm falling, falling
Into a black hole
I'm falling falling
Into a black hole
A black hole a black hole

You always said "girl, don't ever follow your heart,
it's as clueless as you are."
"We've got all of time and space
so where do you wanna start?"
You can't say what you mean
So you just sing what you feel
Close my eyes and I listen
Your fantasies become real

I'm falling, falling
Into a black hole
I'm falling, falling
Into a black hole
I'm falling, falling
Into a black hole
I'm falling, falling
Falling, falling
Falling, falling
A black hole, a black hole
A black hole, a black hole
Track Name: Casual Tonsillitis
Casual Tonsillitis:
I'm gonna let my tonsils stay inflamed
It feels to nice to finally choke on my own pain
Since your arm's been wrapped around my neck so long
Let's separate out baggage, packed mine up and now I'm gone

Let's caress these broken pieces, however sharp they may be
Let's put blood on this piano, scream in the key of G
May the words you write about the pain that I cause you
Be more ever beautiful than if you and I started new

They tell you that they love
The fire in your eyes
Until they get burned
They tell you that they love
The fire in your eyes
The fire in your eyes
The fire in your eyes
(ratchet alcoholic)

Your dusty wings, they flap around my head
My cat might eat you, sorry if you end up dead
I fell from my branch, landed at your feet
("Stop telling people I'm sexist...!")
Worms in my flesh, only cause I'm just that sweet

"Cold, defiant, callus, hoping that you will go away"
"Cute, collected, smart-and-simple, the one that got away"
MAKE UP YOUR MIND are we fine, or did my flame spread to you?
Left your heart in San Francisco, you're so cliche, who knew?
("...JUST CAUSE I DON'T WEAR DRESSES!")

They tell you that they love
The fire in your eyes
Until they get burned
They tell you that they love
The fire in your eyes
The fire in your eyes
The fire in your eyes

("Brightest days, lowest lows!")

They tell you that they love
The fire in your eyes
But I just helped you learn
At least we didn't die
They tell you that they love
You say I love you too
And when we make mistakes
We let the blaming ensue

They always treat you like
You were the first person to ever scream their name
(*unenthused screaming*)
They glorify you
(*unenthused screaming continues*)
Like Lady Liberty's Torch, like a moth to the flame
("STUPID LITTLE GIRL")
I'm not a flaming torch, I'm not a beacon of light
or hope, or purity, or anything like that
("Damn right you're not!")
I'm a human being
and contrary to what's been instilled in your little mind
Human's actually a totally okay thing to be!
("Whatever, Joyce Manor.")
Track Name: Juxtapose (This is Indeed A Love Song)
Juxtapose (This is Indeed A Love Song)
This is not another message
to the proverbial you
Cause I've exhausted every word
and every way to say "I love you."
So Brand New will speak for us
It's been months since I've smiled
I blame all of those clouds in the sky
This is goodbye
What's worse is you're not the worst of my problems

I'm choking cause I've got your smoke in my lungs
I'm sighing cause I've got that song in my head
I'm screaming a capella cause you've got my guitar
Pyromania like I'm burning these loose threads

Speak with more than words,
I wish whatever you were talking with
Would just shut up
Speak with more than words
Oh whatever helps you sleep at night
Should really speak up

This is just another message
To the proverbial you
Cause I've exhausted every way
Yeah, every way to stop my thoughts of you
So skip this track as I look back
On those months when I smiled
As the sun's beating down on my head
Let's to go bed
What needs to be done can wait til tomorrow

I'm choking cause I've got your smoke in my lungs
I'm sighing cause I've got that song in my head
I'm screaming a capella cause you've got my guitar
Pyromania like I'm burning these loose threads

Speak with more than words,
I wish whatever you were talking with
Would just shut up
Speak with more than words
Oh whatever helps you sleep at night
Should really speak up

I'm quiet cause I know I shouldn't say it
Sorry if I babble just to compensate
This veteran of sleepless nights know what to expect:
That "love is only found between a man and his cigarette..."
Well I don't think that's true
I'm upset that I'm not upset
I want you like a Friday
But Monday I'll have regrets
I want you like I Friday
But Monday I'll have regrets
I want you like a Friday
But Monday I'll have regrets
Track Name: Carl Sagan Would Love Your Eyes
The Astronaut Would Love Your Eyes
On my favorite vinyl record
You'd be my least favorite track
You're the moment I've been waiting for
A miserable anti-climax
You're stale coffee, cold and bitter
Sleepy, smiling, drink you up
Captor, keeper/captain of my heart
I wish power didn't corrupt

This is the best I can do
With everything you've given me
I've got a rocket built for two
But you'd rather drift alongside me

I see the final frontier in your eyes
They're wide with fear, anxiety
The dark abyss is staring back at you
Cause it just wants some company
Your deadly weapon's keeping me alive
We never shared this planet once
I thought I found you flowing through my veins
But it was all pseudoscience

This is the best I can do
With everything you've given me
I've got a rocket built for two
But you'd rather drift alongside me