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The Better Half

by I Kill Cameron

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1.
An Introductory Swan Song: I've become acquainted with the maggots in the city We've got a lot in common and they love my open wounds I'm at heaven's gate feeling lust and deep self-pity I promised you I'd wait, but I had to get out soon Please swear that you won't follow me cause third time's the charm No romantics have no place in the world of self-harm That's why I feel outta place between my own sheets Dear God in heaven, you win, accept this defeat I'm crying on the floor asking "Where's dad?" I'm crying on the floor asking for a cigarette "Did you take your meds?" "Baby don't fret!" Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?" Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?" Covered in my blood, asking for a cigarette It's a landmark day cause you finally spoke out loud You didn't breathe a word, you just held me close to you Like death does: so subtlety, so charming and not-proud Knowing that I'll hurt my loved ones if I go with you Between Anarchists, Misogynists, do I care either way? I know I love your whiskey bottles littering my space Oh, this tug-of-war between your love and my bleeding skin Let's pull harder darling, I think we can win. I'm crying on the floor asking "Where's dad?" I'm crying on the floor asking for a cigarette "Did you take your meds?" "Baby don't fret!" Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?" Covered in my blood, asking "Am I pretty yet?" Covered in my blood, asking for a cigarette Covered in my blood, asking you to please forget.
2.
3.
4.
Statutory Cuddles: It's time for bed love I've always loved the longing in your voice when you don't know what to do with me Happy and smitten No just baby sittin' Hold her til she falls asleep She'll fuck your heart, still losing teeth Pitter, patter, little feet Leaving your heart in agony Wake her and she'll start to scream Let's NEVER breed Baby won't you quit your cryin' Shake me til I'm dead Baby won't you quit your cryin' Shake me til I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead Phone vibration Masturbation give me reason to smile Thanks a million For the unplanned children Now they're jumping off bridges I wish I'd thought to burn I'm too short to reach the stove In ignorance away I go I'll never learn the pains of life Until I grow until I grow Stab wounds in the mattress pad A broken mirror A lover that decorates the walls of his heart so beautifully Fuck interior design Your cosmic gaze is meeting mine My heart beats like a wrecking ball That's pushing bricks out of the wall I'm pushing bricks out of the wall I'm pushing bricks I'm pushing bricks Baby won't you quit your cryin' Shake me til I'm dead Baby won't you quit your cryin' Shake me til I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead (let's never breed) I'm dead I'm dead (let's never breed) (Baby, won't you quit your cryin'?)
5.
Lokeigh's Song Abandon ship I wonder why we're sinking Car's been hit The stereo's been drinking And all these people Almost evil Infinity, DMT, and I think that I need to sleep I'm a ghost staring back at my filth and bones Wanna make something beautiful Wanna make something like The tower of Babel or a crowded jail You struck my mind Like shrapnel strikes the body And when I die I hope that you can still see me Saying nothing never touching I'll float through the walls and posses all your pets and dolls Haunt the grounds So you know that I'm still around Wanna make something beautiful Wanna make something like Phony religions or better decisions Don't be scared It's a friendly ghost Don't be scared It's probably just a hoax
6.
7.
Bring Forth The Wild Birds You mean the world to me Bi-polar with a billion cells Functioning, too scared to live I need to get off this planet I need to get off this planet When Sunday morning comes I'll leave you for my holy place Give love to a hot-and-bothered God Find peace in an anxious sermon You mean the world to me Corrupt you in my ignorance Pollute your air, then call you my home I need to get off this planet I need to get off this planet And on the 7th day He laid in bed, half satisfied He said "let there be light!" and this burning question charred his mind: "Is this love or sick dependence?" "is this love or narcissism?" "Is this love? Is this love?" "I need to get off this planet..."
8.
SuperMassiveBlackHole (Part II) I can't survive the darkest depths of my mind I can't survive the darkest depths of reality I can't handle the night outside of my window But you have shown me the darkest depths of the universe It's beautiful here I'm falling, falling Into a black hole I'm falling falling Into a black hole A black hole a black hole You always said "girl, don't ever follow your heart, it's as clueless as you are." "We've got all of time and space so where do you wanna start?" You can't say what you mean So you just sing what you feel Close my eyes and I listen Your fantasies become real I'm falling, falling Into a black hole I'm falling, falling Into a black hole I'm falling, falling Into a black hole I'm falling, falling Falling, falling Falling, falling A black hole, a black hole A black hole, a black hole
9.
Casual Tonsillitis: I'm gonna let my tonsils stay inflamed It feels to nice to finally choke on my own pain Since your arm's been wrapped around my neck so long Let's separate out baggage, packed mine up and now I'm gone Let's caress these broken pieces, however sharp they may be Let's put blood on this piano, scream in the key of G May the words you write about the pain that I cause you Be more ever beautiful than if you and I started new They tell you that they love The fire in your eyes Until they get burned They tell you that they love The fire in your eyes The fire in your eyes The fire in your eyes (ratchet alcoholic) Your dusty wings, they flap around my head My cat might eat you, sorry if you end up dead I fell from my branch, landed at your feet ("Stop telling people I'm sexist...!") Worms in my flesh, only cause I'm just that sweet "Cold, defiant, callus, hoping that you will go away" "Cute, collected, smart-and-simple, the one that got away" MAKE UP YOUR MIND are we fine, or did my flame spread to you? Left your heart in San Francisco, you're so cliche, who knew? ("...JUST CAUSE I DON'T WEAR DRESSES!") They tell you that they love The fire in your eyes Until they get burned They tell you that they love The fire in your eyes The fire in your eyes The fire in your eyes ("Brightest days, lowest lows!") They tell you that they love The fire in your eyes But I just helped you learn At least we didn't die They tell you that they love You say I love you too And when we make mistakes We let the blaming ensue They always treat you like You were the first person to ever scream their name (*unenthused screaming*) They glorify you (*unenthused screaming continues*) Like Lady Liberty's Torch, like a moth to the flame ("STUPID LITTLE GIRL") I'm not a flaming torch, I'm not a beacon of light or hope, or purity, or anything like that ("Damn right you're not!") I'm a human being and contrary to what's been instilled in your little mind Human's actually a totally okay thing to be! ("Whatever, Joyce Manor.")
10.
Juxtapose (This is Indeed A Love Song) This is not another message to the proverbial you Cause I've exhausted every word and every way to say "I love you." So Brand New will speak for us It's been months since I've smiled I blame all of those clouds in the sky This is goodbye What's worse is you're not the worst of my problems I'm choking cause I've got your smoke in my lungs I'm sighing cause I've got that song in my head I'm screaming a capella cause you've got my guitar Pyromania like I'm burning these loose threads Speak with more than words, I wish whatever you were talking with Would just shut up Speak with more than words Oh whatever helps you sleep at night Should really speak up This is just another message To the proverbial you Cause I've exhausted every way Yeah, every way to stop my thoughts of you So skip this track as I look back On those months when I smiled As the sun's beating down on my head Let's to go bed What needs to be done can wait til tomorrow I'm choking cause I've got your smoke in my lungs I'm sighing cause I've got that song in my head I'm screaming a capella cause you've got my guitar Pyromania like I'm burning these loose threads Speak with more than words, I wish whatever you were talking with Would just shut up Speak with more than words Oh whatever helps you sleep at night Should really speak up I'm quiet cause I know I shouldn't say it Sorry if I babble just to compensate This veteran of sleepless nights know what to expect: That "love is only found between a man and his cigarette..." Well I don't think that's true I'm upset that I'm not upset I want you like a Friday But Monday I'll have regrets I want you like I Friday But Monday I'll have regrets I want you like a Friday But Monday I'll have regrets
11.
The Astronaut Would Love Your Eyes On my favorite vinyl record You'd be my least favorite track You're the moment I've been waiting for A miserable anti-climax You're stale coffee, cold and bitter Sleepy, smiling, drink you up Captor, keeper/captain of my heart I wish power didn't corrupt This is the best I can do With everything you've given me I've got a rocket built for two But you'd rather drift alongside me I see the final frontier in your eyes They're wide with fear, anxiety The dark abyss is staring back at you Cause it just wants some company Your deadly weapon's keeping me alive We never shared this planet once I thought I found you flowing through my veins But it was all pseudoscience This is the best I can do With everything you've given me I've got a rocket built for two But you'd rather drift alongside me

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released February 4, 2014

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I Kill Cameron Sacramento, California

Folk Punk and more! Currently resides in Sacramento

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